First time sex
The thought of first time sex creates lot of anxiety and excitement in an individual’s life. Before getting into this topic, let’s understand a little bit about sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse can be defined as a situation when a boy’s hard penis goes inside a girl’s vagina.
First time sex: The anxiety and the pressures
The real psychological pressure and anxiety involving “first time sex” is most of the times faced by the girl. The pressure can be in terms of thoughts relating to “losing the virginity or not losing the virginity”. The anxiety can be about unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Apart from this it is natural that you may feel little embarrassed before having first time sex. You may feel little worried also because it would be the first time that you will be sharing the privacy of your body with someone else. At this stage it is important for you to understand that if you have firmly decided to take the plunge then a good planning and communication session with your partner will be helpful.
First time sex: A little bit of planning and communication
The planning and communication session will go a long way in practicing safe “first time sex” without any feeling of anxiety, pressure or guilt. Further you should keep in mind that when you have decided for it then take the plunge and enjoy it as well. Never do anything half heartedly. So coming back to the issue of planning you need to have a frank talk with your partner first. He should be as confident as you are and he should be willing to help you out all the way. You need to sit with him and decide about the contraception that would be required to prevent unwanted pregnancy, you need to talk to him regarding the use of condoms for safe and protective sex especially against STDs. Further issues like losing the virginity or not losing the virginity has to be settled before hand.
First time sex: Make your own choice and talk to your partner
Don’t get into anything because of peer pressure but if you genuinely feel loosing virginity is not a big deal then get going with it. Talk to your partner regarding this and gain confidence on this front as well. Remember that guilt and regret afterwards can be very dangerous and if you want to make your first time sex session really memorable and happy then settle the emotions of guilt and regret before hand itself. On the other hand if you're too shy, or you're not able to talk with your partner about all these things that I have mentioned above then you probably shouldn't be having sex!
First time sex: Handling your body
Now getting into little detail let me tell you certain things that you need to understand and take care regarding your body. Remember that you can get pregnant. Reliable birth control options for first time sex are; condoms, birth control pills which has to be taken for at least a month before, female condoms, sponge, spermicide, depro-provera which is given by a doctor well in advance, norplant which is a type of minor surgery that is required well in advance, IUD and diaphram both of which need a doctor.
Coming to the prevention of unwanted pregnancy, understanding the rhythm and cycles of your body requires some real experience and as a novice you many not judge them well. Moreover standing up right away or jumping up and down after intercourse will not prevent pregnancy.
You can get an STD, and even AIDS, the first time itself. Only condoms both female and male, preferably with a spermicide, can give you any protection against STDs and AIDS. The only 100% perfect protection against AIDS, STDs, or pregnancy for adults and teens is not having sex. This is applicable to everybody on the surface of this earth.
Now talking about the actual motion of sex, you probably won't know what you are doing or if you are doing it "right" therefore try not to worry too much about it, as long as it is consensual there is no one "right" way. Sometimes your body may not cooperate, even if your mind wants to have sex and therefore listen to both your mind as well as the body. Finally remember that you can always change your mind and say "NO" anytime before having sex. You have to be absolutely certain about what you want and nobody can force anything on you.
First time sex: Handling your emotions and feelings
Coming to your emotions and feelings even after all the planning and communication with your partner things may not go the way you plan, so it is best to only plan the vital essentials such as the birth control, protection, time and place. There are chances that you may not feel it very good when the actual intercourse happens for the first time or you may feel little nervous or scared . There is nothing wrong in all these thoughts, feelings and emotions. It happens to many people. What you have to remember at this point is that you are engaging in a perfectly normal phenomenon which exists from the beginning of the world. Sex is very much natural and most of the human beings who have lived and who are now living engage in it. There is nothing to feel guilty about it.
Coming back to your feelings, sometimes you may also feel different about yourself and the other person after the intercourse but it may not necessarily be in a bad way. Just take your time and talk to your partner and let normalcy return slowly and steadily. Coming to another important point, you need to understand that having intercourse will not suddenly transform you into a fully grown adult woman. If you are young it will take some more years for you to grow fully as a adult women both physically as well as psychologically.
Many times you may feel guilty that you are actually wanting to have sex and during these times try to remember that sex is perfectly natural and normal and it is not something that you should feel guilty about. It’s just the society that has put a taboo on it. Safe, protective sex with feelings of love is actually beneficial for good health. So as long as you know you are ready, and care about the person you are with, you will enjoy yourself. But if you don't respect your partner, or you know they don't respect you, then you may develop regrets latter.
Apart from the above mentioned details, you need to get answers about the following topics which are linked to first time sex.
1. Can a girl become pregnant the first time she has sexual intercourse?
Remember friends, don’t do sex for the first time for just the sake of doing it. First develop a bonding and relationship with your partner and then get into the issue of having sex or not. Plain sex without emotions is not that great. On the other hand you must also know that even if you love, or are loved by your partner, you may still have regrets after first time sex as you may mourn the loss of your virginity. It is natural and normal to mourn that loss but in that loss you must appreciate that there is something to gain also. The gain is that you have actually taken the plunge to move towards the next stage of your life as most of us do.
Article by Karishma J. Anand
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