Love marriage is a recent phenomenon if we compare the history of arranged marriage and marriage based on love. Though marriage based on love is a recent phenomenon with a history of just 200 years, its acceptance has been phenomenal especially in the western liberalized world. Now the trend is also slowly catching up in the traditional societies of the east. We can define marriage based on love as a union of two individuals based upon affection and a mutual attraction. In romantic language this phenomenon of mutual attraction and affection is called as love and this is the foundation and basis for all marriages based on love. Love marriages are in fact great platform for young people to find their life partners based on mutual liking and compatibility. These marriages also offer the chance of courtship where the couple come to know each other well and then they decide whether they need to get married or not.
Love marriage: The bonding of love in marriage
The biggest advantage of love marriage is the bonding and affection that is established between the couple before the marriage. This does not happen in one day but it develops over time and then we say that the individuals have fallen in love with each other. Falling in love is an essential perquisite for all love marriages. Scientifically it has been discovered that falling in love alters our biochemical state and individuals in love yearn to be together and share the most intimate things about their lives with the loved ones. As love develops the people in love tend to become accommodative and supportive to the needs of each other and in fact they try to complement each other in all possible ways. Adjustments are made and negative traits in the individuals are overlooked or underplayed. It has also been seen that people who are in love share a high amount sexual tension between themselves. So we can safely assume that the bonding based on affection, mutual attraction and care when continues unhindered for some time then it can lead to marriage and this is what we call as love marriage.
Love Marriage: The positives of marriage based on love
The most important positive point of marriage based on love is that it is based on the foundation of mutual attraction, affection, care and personal choice. Love marriage gives the individuals the freedom to choose their partners and live a life based on their own individual will. It also teaches them to be supportive and accommodative to each other. The beauty of love marriage is the love that exists between the individuals. The love among the two individuals also becomes the basis for strong sexual attraction which is more than the feeling of lust. When people in love have sex, it leads to emotional fulfilment and development of trust between each other. In fact the feeling is of giving and sharing at every level. Further this strong bonding called as love helps the couple overcome life’s tough circumstances and challenges. Even in the toughest of situations the couple stay together and face the challenges of life as a team. Overtime this experience of sharing the good and tough moments of life together helps them to cement their relationship at a higher pedestal involving the physical, mental and spiritual faculties.
Love marriage: Negatives of marriage based on love
As there are positives and advantages of marriage based on love there are also negatives of love marriage against which precautions have to be taken. First of all the biggest truth is that only a marginal percentage of love affairs actually culminate into actual marriage. Falling in love may happen as a sudden phenomenon without any forewarning and similarly breaking of a love affair can take place very rapidly. This may happen even without a valid and concrete reason. The fickleness of love is the biggest disadvantage and negativity of marriage based on love. It is true that maximum number of divorces take place in love marriages. The reason given for divorce in majority of the cases is as trivial as the lack of love between the individuals. This is despite the fact that the couple got married in the first place because of their love for each other. So it is important to understand whether you are in real love or it is just a crush or infatuation. It is better to have a long courtship period rather than burning your fingers by getting into a hasty marriage. Then there are imposters and cheaters in this world who pretend to be in love but in actuality they may be after your money and property. Sometimes the truth is known only after the marriage. So keep a check on yourself and keep relationships and friendships with only those people who are of your circle. This may help you guard against cheaters and imposters.
Love marriage can be especially tough for individuals coming from traditional cultures and societies. Here the problem gets compounded as the couple does not get any support from their families and most of the times the immediate families become openly hostile to the marriage. So in these circumstances it is better to take your parents and relations into confidence before getting into a matrimony which is based on love. Further it would be prudent to have a realistic check on the financial position before getting into a marriage based on love. It would be advisable that people who are in love postpone their marriage till a time they are earning enough to sustain a family. In today’s circumstances a love marriage can only survive if both the individuals are financially sound and are earning members. Otherwise all love will be lost in quick time managing the harsh conditions of today’s world. So finally I would say that there is nothing wrong in falling in love and getting married based on love but the most important point is to use your head and intelligence to nourish your love life so that it can last forever.
Article by Sanjay Nair
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